


would it really kill you if we kissed?

by youareiron_andyouarestrong



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Mid-Flashpoint, S3 Thoughts, Speculative, barry 'i might have made a mistake' allen, barry u done hecked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youareiron_andyouarestrong/pseuds/youareiron_andyouarestrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>I know you Barry Allen,</em> says the Eobard Thawne that never was (was once? will be? his tenses are getting muddled). <em>You will never be content.</em></p>
<p><em>be careful what you wished for</em> never seemed like such a prophecy before.</p>
<p>(speculative Flashpoint thoughts, when Barry thinks he's getting what he always wanted.</p>
<p>but not really.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	would it really kill you if we kissed?

the Flash is a superhero. the Flash battles monsters. the Flash saves lives. 

and yet, Barry feels, all of that counts for _nothing_ when you think about the fact he and Iris have yet to go on any kind of real actual date.

and the fact every time he’s kissed her or made any kind of progress, it’s either been in an alternate timeline or a parallel universe where either it ends up  _never happening_  or _she’s not really_ his _Iris._

being the Flash might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, but loving Iris is the best part of him. Barry sometimes thinks that he could be content if he couldn’t be the Flash anymore, if he could be with Iris. 

this all feels like eerily like a prophecy, a  _be careful what you wish for_ sort of situation, when he goes to finally save his mother.

because Barry gets what he’s always wanted–his parents alive, a normal life, a reasonable job. he doesn’t even have to be the Flash any more! he could be with Iris and there’s  _nothing stopping him_. he wants to hoard it like gold, that thought.  

but in this reality, in this world–he doesn’t have Cisco. or Caitlin. or Harrison Wells, either of them, which strikes him as either painfully or darkly ironic. he doesn’t have Joe. 

the part of him that’s flickering in and out of existence, the memories that are being rewritten, the part of him that remembers what it’s like, growing up without a mother, watching his father die in front of him, watching Iris be with someone else, be _engaged_ to someone else–that part of him _screams_ for him to leave it alone. let it rest, let it die. isn’t this what he’s _always wanted?_

_I know you Barry Allen,_ says the Eobard Thawne that never was (was once? will be? his tenses are getting muddled). _You will never be content._

Barry looks at the Iris he knows and doesn’t know. he thinks of a future where she’s loved him enough to take his name, in addition to her own. he thinks of a casual, affection remark: _just wait ‘til you have kids. I’mma laugh in your face. …Paw-paw. My grandkids are gonna call me Paw-paw!_

he wants that future. he wants that _life._

_hey slugger. my beautiful boy._

he’s just not sure at what _cost._

**Author's Note:**

> insert "I've made a huge mistake" gif here


End file.
